Currently, many couples decide to separate or divorce, whatever the reason. But if there are children, it is necessary to act cautiously so that they are as little affected as possible.
Parents often underestimate their children , when presenting a difficult situation like this, which involves so many changes. They are often surprised by the maturity that children sometimes show. But it can also be the exit door of an unsustainable coexistence, both for the couple and their children.
How to tell the children?
The children may not understand what the reasons for the separation have been, but they understand that it has happened, and that this new situation has consequences in their lives.
The appropriate thing is for both parents to seek a moment of intimacy with their children to tell them what happened, unhurriedly and clearly, so that the child does not shuffle the option that could have happened because of him.
Not lying is also important , in addition to giving only the necessary explanations. To know what to tell your children or not, a useful strategy is to ask yourself if what is going to be explained will help you understand what is happening, or on the contrary, it could lead you to have negative feelings towards any of your children. parents. That is, is it necessary what you are going to say, or is it something that could affect your parents’ vision? You should keep in mind that the problems are between you and your partner, and that you do not have to transcend the children.
What the child needs to know is that their parents are going to continue there , that they will be able to enjoy and have them when they need it and that they will continue to love them. What happened between both members of the couple, only concerns both. Attributing guilty will not contribute anything to the child.
It is important to express the affections and explain carefully what the future plans will be, that is, how they will organize their lives from that moment. If children see their parents calm, they will assimilate it more easily.
They should also keep in mind that their children are not their therapy or their way of venting, or the cane to lean on, their role as parents is to guide them.
Finally, think that if you, an adult with experience and resources, have trouble overcoming a break, imagine how it will cost your child to assimilate the break as well as carry the pain he observes in his parents and everything he experienced. Therefore, to build a new life from the moment of the break, will help to overcome the situation both for oneself and for their children.