Very often when children are frustrated they have tantrums. Because they lack verbal language to explain what they think. And because they can not achieve their goal, they need to use this immature form to express their feelings.
Tantrums in children usually occur when they lose in a game, at the time of eating, of sleeping, if their parents do not understand what they want to transmit, among others. This causes the child to react explosively to the discomfort felt by the incomprehension of their parents.
Types of tantrums
Satisfy basic needs
One of the main types of tantrums appear when the child has a basic need and can not be satisfied at the moment. For example: when you feel like sleeping or eating.
In young children insecurity invades them if they are uninformed of the situation in which they find themselves. For example, when they attend their first day of classes where they will share in a different place with teachers and unknown children.
The child can also throw tantrums when he needs to release tensions in times of fear . For example, if you attend a closed place for the first time such as cinemas and theaters.
The moment the lights go out he gets scared, and his way of expressing that feeling is making a tantrum. If this does not surpass you when you return to these places you will remember those moments of fear and you will start throwing a tantrum again.
Positive side of tantrums
Although parents often feel embarrassed when their children suffer episodes of tantrums. We must also take into account that they are human beings and, like adults, they have the right to let off steam. In addition tantrums have a positive side as we show you below.
Define the personality of the child
Temper tantrums influence the emotional health and well-being of children. The little ones do not know how to tell you what they need, that is why they express it by making tantrums. However, parents must gradually teach him that this is not the correct way. This helps you to shape your personality day by day.
They release stress
Children after a tantrum release the stress that caused the discomfort of that moment. After the episode passes and they manage to calm down, they can understand better that not everything can be obtained.
They know limits
Children use tantrums to rebel against the , so it is important that they know the limits of their actions. In this case, parents play an important role in letting them know what the rules are and the consequences of non-compliance.
These rules must be firm and coherent, previously thought, and must be for the good of the child. This will prevent adult suffering from a disorder disorder.
What to do when a child has a tantrum?
At the time the child makes a tantrum, parents should remain calm in such a situation. It is understood that it is difficult to handle the frustration of adults, but if they are also altered, it would only complicate the circumstance more.
Parents must understand that it is a demonstration of what they are feeling, and that no matter how much we want to help them, they will not stop feeling. The best we can do is wait for the episode to pass.
Then talk to the child, tell him that we understand that he feels bad. It is important to give alternatives, pick him up or sit at his height and accept the pain he is showing us. On these occasions, the child needs the encouragement of a close person who hears it.
However, sometimes tantrums are too aggressive to ignore them. In these cases, tell the child to sit for two minutes and think about what he or she did.
On the other hand, some children do not want to be comforted. If the child asks you to move away, you should do so for a few minutes. After the tantrum passes, the child will often want to be held in his arms. This is a good way to reincorporate him to the activities he was doing.
Generally, when the child grows up and matures tantrums diminish. Also, as he develops his verbal language, he improves his ability to express his frustrations verbally, not doing it physically.
However, temper tantrums may persist beyond 4 years and parents can not control them. If this happens it is advisable that you seek the support of a specialized professional, that is, a child psychologist.