Surely on more than one occasion you have been told that you always put yourself in the worst or dramatize excessively situations that occur around you.
It’s possible. You know why? Because, despite being able to choose to be optimistic, we always end up opting for the pessimistic alternative.
Being optimistic or pessimistic is a choice . But, whether you choose one option or another, you will have to work hard and exercise according to it.
If you always put yourself in the worst, today we encourage you to discover a very effective and innovative method that you have probably never heard of.
Let’s go there!
The ABCDE method by Martin Seligman
Martin Seligman is an American psychologist and writer who devised the “ABCDE method” (corresponding to the initials of the English words) to bring down pessimism.
This method refers to 5 essential steps that must be taken to approach the much desired optimism.
If you are one of those people who always put themselves at the worst, this method will come in handy. Let’s see what it consists of.
1. Adversity (adversity)
This is the first step of Seligman’s method in which you should try to describe what has caused you to now have such a pessimistic view of life .
It may be a job dismissal, the appearance of a disease, a child who is leaving home …
Take a paper and describe the situation as explicitly as possible. From there, we will continue with the following steps of this method.
2. Belief (beliefs)
If you always put yourself in the worst, have you ever thought that it could be because of various beliefs that surround certain situations?
Take the paper you have written and analyze the beliefs that are in it . Why has you addressed the pessimism about this job dismissal? Do you feel invalid? Do you think you have failed?
It’s time to think about everything that affects you. If a child leaves home, do you feel empty? For that illness, do you think there is no hope for you? Do you feel a victim ?
Answering these questions, but especially doing them, will allow you to be aware of a large number of beliefs that surround the situation exposed at the beginning.
3. Consequences (consequences)
Now is the time to observe the consequences of what has been analyzed so far. To be aware of how it affects you and how it makes you feel everything that happened .
Maybe, believing that you have failed because of losing your job makes you feel insecure and that you will not be able to get another job at your age.
In this case, the consequence is that you are denying yourself the possibility of finding another job, because you deny the possibilities you have while sinking into the darkest pessimism.
4. Discussion (disputation)
We have reached a crucial point, that of discussing with yourself about everything that is on paper. What does it give you? It is right? It is true?
If you find it very difficult you can use different strategies such as, for example, believing that it is a good friend who presents you with that paper and asks you those questions.
What advice would you give?
Try to see the situation from other different points of view and you will realize that most likely you have been exaggerating because you put yourself in the worst without stopping to really analyze what happens.
Doing this is very liberating and will allow you to be more aware of the circumstances to face them in a much healthier way.
5. Energy (energy)
Finally, the step that closes this whole journey is the one that is responsible for analyzing all the above to get to affirm, for example, the following:
“I’ve been fired from work and I’ve felt bad. However, I know that I can find another job.
Moreover, I can even find a better occupation that allows me to develop and grow professionally. This dismissal is not something I should regret, it’s an opportunity. ”
Once this is done, it is time to get going. Standing still will not help and may accentuate our anxiety and pessimism return.
It is necessary that we move.
Before leaving, do not miss: Being discouraged is normal, being pessimistic
The ABCDE method is something that we can all apply to our lives, regardless of whether or not we are pessimistic people.
We all experience complicated and unexpected situations before which we do not know how to react, much less how to resolve.
Today, with this method, we know how to direct them.