The fear of being disapproved, the insecurity of losing who we most want to show us how we are … All this can lead to a deep fear of rejection.
There are people who are more sensitive than others to the rejection of others. Maybe because in their childhood they lived it intensely or because they have such low self-esteem that they believe that others will always repudiate them.
However, the management they make of that fear is not the correct one.
Therefore, in most cases they end up isolating themselves from others , causing situations in which they are left alone. A way to escape and not face what causes them so much fear.
Why are you afraid of rejection?
If you are a person who has felt identified with this fear of rejection, you may be wondering why you can have it.
Maybe you have not had a complicated childhood , you are not even aware of having low self-esteem. So, why are you so sensitive to the rejection of others?
You do not have enough social skills
If you suffer from fear of rejection, one of the reasons may be that you lack the necessary tools to manage safely and freely in social environments.
For example, there are people who lack the agility necessary to interact with other people , who are more timid or have a more introverted personality.
Discover: 10 tips to improve your social skills
Seeing that they do not have certain tools, this produces a pronounced lowering of self-esteem that leads to a great fear of rejection.
In most cases, instead of facing it, one isolates oneself.
You have gone through experiences that have marked you
The fear that they may harm you or that they reject you again causes you to stay away from all those people who can make you suffer again.
In some way, your experiences have made you very sensitive to any possible mockery, a sign that you bore the other person or that you do not take into account as much as you would like.
You have very high expectations about what others expect from you
One of the possible causes of your fear of rejection may be the high expectations that you think others may have of you.
For example, you can think that they expect you to be attractive, that you see well, that you know how to talk about almost any topic with ease and interest …
All these expectations cause you great anxiety that will end in a terrible fear of not being up to the task and, therefore, the rejection that this will entail.
You need to understand that all this is in your mind and are beliefs that you can put to the test.
In what way am I isolating myself from others?
It is very possible that you have come to believe that it is the others who have abandoned you, who have partnered and stopped staying with you, who have a lot of work …
However, this can be a way to avoid taking on a responsibility that only you yourself have , but that your fear of rejection attempts to evade.
Do you ever call those friends to stay? Do you make excuses for work because you think you do not feel like it or you are lazy when, in reality, what you have is fear?
Sometimes, laziness, sadness and all those feelings that can lead us to say “no” to an exit or stay with friends can hide a fear, something we want to avoid and that we do not want to see or solve at the same time.
Maybe you are causing this isolation situation yourself . Well, little by little, you are closing in on yourself, feeling less valid and you know what? The more you isolate yourself, the more social skills you lose.
If we do not assiduously implement the tools we have to socialize with others, they are lost, and recovering them costs a lot.
Before leaving, do not miss: Do it, and if it scares you, do it with fear
So … Would not it be much better to look at that fear in the eyes, face it and force yourself to experience those situations that make it come out?
Only then can you overcome it. However, if you force yourself to stay alone, you will never get it.