Nobody can exhaust themselves by offering a sincere affection for those who, in turn, recognize every effort and detail. Giving love does not tire. What clouds our spirits are disappointments and every emptiness felt in those relationships.
The classic saying “give love without looking to whom” should point out various details, those that all of us have experienced in our own skin to give the maximum of ourselves to those around us, without knowing that there are limits.
Some people assume that receiving attention, compliments, favors and affection is something that does not require effort, that only having a partner is what is expected, without remembering that a relationship is a continuous exchange where “you give me and I offer you”.
Unconditional love is, without doubt, something very respectable. It is what you feel, for example, a mother for a child, an insurmountable pillar that we understand and value.
However, “unconditionality” by itself is a dangerous terrain for many people. Because in all cases it can not be justified to continue giving affection and respect when we no longer receive it.
When we are despised or betrayed. It is a common aspect in our affective relationships that we wish to address in the following article.
The disappointment tires and it extinguishes little by little the love
The disappointment tires and makes us open our eyes. However, until that moment arrives, we go through a series of complex and emotionally hard phases that make us question many things.
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It must be said that a disappointment is not necessarily the first step towards a break. There are times when it allows us to see things more realistically to set in motion more mature changes.
Let’s see it in detail.
When love is blind and disappointment opens our eyes
There is something that usually happens when we are very young : to live those affective relationships where we idealize the couple in such a way that, far from seeing any defect, we usually put her on a very high pedestal.
- Day by day shows us that perfection does not exist, and that should not be bad or good. Seeing the reality of things is an appropriate and necessary way to deal with a relationship better.
- Our partner, like ourselves, is not perfect, let alone infallible. We make mistakes, we all have hobbies and many defects.
- Those first disappointments should open our eyes to realize that for the relationship to prosper, we must both invest equally .
Faults are corrected, mistakes serve to learn and defects are harmonized with ours.
Now, we also know that “there are disappointments and disappointments” and mistakes that can not always be forgiven.
The disappointment that tires and hurts
There are facts, details, words and acts that open our eyes and show us, with some impact, that a person was not as we expected.
- Most likely, it was never like we believed because, as we have pointed out earlier, love tends to idealize the character of people.
- Love should never be offered with closed eyes. The most complicated of all this is that, when talking about emotions, we are already in an area where it is very complicated to control what we feel.
- We can accept a disappointment, we can forgive an error, and even five. However, at the moment when it reoccurs, regardless of the pain occasioned, we are bound, no doubt, to make a decision.
Continuous disappointment not only tires, it hurts and destroys our self-esteem . It is something that we must be very clear about.
I’ve tired of so many disappointments
There is no need to go to these extremes. When the heart gets too tired before so many disappointments suffered, it begins either to shut down or accept the situation, to surrender.
- We must never fall into these situations where tolerate disappointments to the point of thinking that it is “normal”, that it is best to hold and keep silent.
- It does not matter if they are couples, friends or even children. If there is no respect and there is a clear will to do harm, because you do not know what respect and sincere affection is, it is time to react firmly.
It is advisable to know how to do it already in the first disappointment. Once we open our eyes to a reality we must confront it and make it clear that they have hurt us . That is not how a relationship is built.
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If something bothers you, name it and express it. If something disappoints you, prove it, and offer strategies so that it does not happen again.
If the disappointments continue, it will be time to give a more forceful answer. Otherwise we will be too injured, too fragmented.
Do not let that happen.
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