It is always difficult to overcome a breakup, no matter how long you were with that person. It is very important to ‘take action on the matter’ and as soon as the mourning stage is over, you commit yourself to succeed. In this article we will tell you how to deal with a separation in the best possible way.
Keys to face a separation
Going through a divorce or a breakup is one of the most difficult moments of our life. Although for some people it is a certain ‘relief’ to change civil status, it is also a situation that nobody wants to experience.
Asking for help in this complicated moment is not a sign of weakness, but of integrity and wanting to keep going despite everything. As a first step, you can carry out these habits or changes:
1. Accept emotional ups and downs
It will take you some time to get used to your new marital status; If you have been with that person for a long time, it is probably strange not to share the day to day with her. Maybe at times you are sad or angry; Maybe in others you feel confused and relieved.
It is completely normal to go through these ‘ups and downs’ even in the same day . The best you can do is accept it, understand it and act accordingly. If, for example, you are depressed do not stay at home crying, you better go for a walk.
2. Do not isolate yourself
One of the main techniques to face a separation is not to stay alone. This does not mean looking for a new partner right away, but let yourself be ‘pampered’ a bit by your friends and family.
If you stay at home crying, watching romantic movies or listening to sad songs, it will be very difficult for you to get ahead. Better take contact with other people, leave your home, take off your pajamas and do any activity that has nothing to do with your ex. You can even take advantage of it to enjoy what you could not be in a relationship before .
3. Take some time
What do you think about a weekend getaway to the countryside, the mountains or the beach? You can go to a hotel of those that include SPA and different treatments or simply stay looking at the landscape while you enjoy a cup of coffee or a good wine.
It is essential that you take some time for yourself, but if you do not dare to do it alone, you will always have a friend or relative to accompany you.
Give your feelings a break, do not try to cope with something that overcomes you, do not rush the healing of wounds . Remember that facing a separation is not something that is solved overnight.
4. Talk about your feelings
Again you will have to support yourself in those people who love you and want to see you well. Your best friend, your brother, a cousin … Do not feel ashamed or believe that you are bothering her! And if that happens, you can always turn to professional help.
Go to therapy, do coaching or some technique that allows you to speak openly about your feelings and emotions. Talking about what hurts is the first step to assimilate and overcome it. Even a therapist or coach can give you the tools you need to overcome this bad habit in your life.
5. Do what you like
Another way to deal with a separation is to enjoy free time in your own way. When we are in a couple we usually do many things that the other wants or we spend weekends at home.
When you leave work, join a Zumba class, take a cooking course, practice exercise in the park, meet with your friends or colleagues at the office, take advantage of weekends to visit new places, visit tourist attractions of your own City, visit your relatives, go to the park and enjoy a picnic … there are millions of options available.
It is very important that you reconnect with yourself that, if necessary, make a spiritual or religious retreat and spend a few days in silence or meditation. This will help you in many ways, such as loving yourself again, enjoying life without needing to be with someone, understanding your feelings and emotions, thinking about the future, etc.
6. Think positive
Maybe you say ‘it’s very easy to say it, but do not do it’, do the test, the next time you are depressed or distressed, think about the good thing about having separated: not fighting for money, being able to do what you want, having more freedom , think about yourself, etc.
You can also choose to think about all the good things that you have lived with your ex and not remember the suffering , the arguments and the bad moments. To be positive is always to see the ‘half full glass’.
7. Do not rush to rebuild your life
This is one of the most common mistakes and they do not always turn out as we expect. There is a phrase that says ‘a nail pulls out another nail’ to describe the situation in which we barely separated, we look for someone to replace it.
But things are not so easy and, in addition, you must first make the duel corresponding to the previous relationship. Only when the wounds have healed enough and you have put the focus back on your happiness will you be able to find someone worthwhile.