I want to know an honest intimacy and without strategies . An intimacy that does not fear, that does not exchange for love, that does not make me believe that that is to love someone.
The intimacy that we establish with a partner is very important . A union that makes us feel happy, as if we were floating in the clouds.
However, the beliefs we have about it cause that, when the phase of falling in love disappears, we ask ourselves: is this really love? Why does it hurt, then?
Today we will discover how we can live an intimacy without strategies or daggers. A real intimacy, pure, honest and free of any belief.
Sacrificing for a couple
Sacrificing oneself for a couple or sacrificing oneself in the name of love is the same. We believe that we have to bend, allow certain things because love can do everything .
However, after this sacrifice there is nothing positive , only pain.
“It was a little slip, nothing happens,” he says, wiping away a tear, his head bowed and adopting an attitude of absolute submission.
“He tells me that he will change and I love him so much that I will give him another chance (there are already 8 opportunities)”, he mentions self-consciously that there is still some hope of living happy and eating partridges.
Seen that way, it seems ironic and even absurd. However, the exposed examples of phrases that can be heard out there are more real and more present than they should be.
What happens if you do not sacrifice yourself for a couple? What happens if at the slightest lack of respect you cut the relationship sharply? That, perhaps, one of your parents or your grandparents affirm “the young people of today do not support anything”.
Discover: Characteristics of toxic love
Of course we can not stand anything. We can not stand a false intimacy , full of deceptions, of fictitious love, of pain.
We refuse to admit that we have to be with someone simply because we want it, even if that person makes us suffer.
However, those phrases that are said as absolute truths are in our mind to urge us to commit again and again the same mistake of bowing down and sacrificing in the name of love.
We believe that we do not deserve more
Our intimacy with the couple has been influenced by those fairy tales where everything was perfect. We believed it and we considered that to be true in real life.
However, we did not realize that they were just movies, fiction.
The phrases mentioned in the previous point urge us to bend , to bow our heads. This attitude lowers our self-esteem and makes us believe that we do not deserve more .
We do not deserve more than those insults, because we believe that we deserve it. We believe that we should be grateful that someone wants to be by our side.
We think that if the relationship does not work it is our fault because we are not giving 200%. Because we take responsibility for it on our shoulders, only us.
Is it worth doing so much damage? To cry, to suffer, to insist on something that does not work? This kind of intimacy with someone is not desirable.
So, why do we allow it?
Discover true intimacy
Discovering true intimacy is possible if we follow some advice and abandon old harmful behavior patterns in relationships:
- Intimacy with someone, love, is not a battle we have to win. It is something that is built.
- If the other person hurts us, we do not create their promises of change. Let’s change as a couple.
- Let us not be responsible for the entire relationship. In a healthy relationship, both members contribute 50%.
- By breaking up with the couple we do not run out of life . This is another belief that pushes us to tie ourselves to harmful relationships.
Before you leave do not miss: Promises of change to recover a relationship
It is important that we stop perceiving relationships as a couple that gives meaning to our lives and to tolerate certain things that destroy us.
If someone makes you suffer, what are you doing there? You are losing your time.
A valuable time in which you could strengthen yourself, instead of allowing someone to make you feel that you are a small and unworthy person.