There are many people who have suffered bad experiences in their emotional relationships. Couples that have reached a painful end and that now, they are plunged into a kind of skepticism at the time of falling in love again. Is it possible to love someone without suffering? We talk to you about it.
1. Affective relationships, happiness and suffering
It is often said that when we fall in love, we are especially fragile. There is no greater event than being attracted to another person, than to love and be loved . That to know someone with whom we experience a special union, both physical and emotional.
We can not deny it, when we love someone we are more susceptible and more vulnerable. We fear many things and among them, especially, being abandoned. Any word or gesture, however unintentional and simple, can harm us.
Our happiness is associated with a specific person, and if this person does not show us the affection we expect, or rejects us or is not able to give us commitment and sincerity, we will suffer. It is a clear reality that we have all suffered.
Now, there are people who manage this reality better, and others who simply collapse and are much more fragile, much more hurtful. To love is an emotional explosion where we can go from the most absolute happiness, to the most devastating sadness. The ideal is to maintain a personal balance and above all, not project 100% in our partner the source of our happiness. To love we must be strong, maintain our self-esteem and a good self-concept. Surely you know people who only conceive happiness when they have a partner. However, when they are alone they feel abandoned and weak. And this is not good. We must also know how to enjoy our loneliness and our independence. The key is balance. But let’s see it carefully.
2. How to love without suffering
Is it possible to love without suffering? Well, first of all we must clarify that at the moment when something matters to us, it is inevitable not to suffer. We want our parents, our children and our partners, and therefore we care and suffer for them. It is normal and expected. But the essential thing is that the suffering is reasonable and does not make us fall into a depression, for example.
We must learn to manage suffering so as not to let ourselves fall. To keep our self-esteem afloat and not be shattered. There are people who are more vulnerable than others, people who, because of their personality, can face worse eg treason or abandonment. We are sure that you know people who have fallen into serious depression after their marriage failed or after their relationship broke down. We must be strong and protect ourselves. We must also be optimistic, if a relationship does not go well, surely sooner or later you will find the right person for you. Love is something that is always worth it, do not forget it.
But let’s see now what dimensions will help us “not to fall” before the suffering of love.
1. Love, must first of all offer us happiness
We must have it clear. If one day you wake up with tears and not with a smile, it is that something serious is happening in your life. If what your relationship offers you is more suffering than happiness, you must react. The most important thing in this world is you and your integrity, and knowing how to react in time will avoid more suffering. Sometimes it may be difficult for us to react, but it’s worth wondering from time to time. Am I really happy?
2. Keep your self-esteem protected
Do not let anyone control or manipulate you. If you notice that you are ceasing to be yourself and that it is the other person who decides for you or has your happiness in the pocket of your whims, you have to change the situation. To intervene.
Reaction to. If you have a strong self-esteem, if you love yourself, you enjoy how you are and you feel proud of your personality, you will avoid many sufferings. Let’s take an example. A girl, is rejected by a boy. This rejection plunges her into a depression and she thinks that it is not good for any other man, that no one will ever love her. However, her friend, who has a good self-concept and a strong self-esteem , reacts differently to a rejection : “If this boy has left me, it is because I did not deserve and has not appreciated what I’m worth, for sure I find another person who discovers how I am and loves me for myself. ”
3. Always look for your inner growth
To love a person in a healthy way, first, you must value yourself and feel that there are things in you that the other person also values. “If I love and respect myself, I will be able to love you as a mature person.” Think, for example, of those people who are especially jealous .
Jealousy is caused by insecurity. The people who express them think that because they do not value themselves by extension, they also think that their partners can go with someone better at any time.
Watch out! The best thing is to love mature and balanced people, self-confident people capable of bringing happiness and optimism, able to grow as a couple day by day.
We know that love sometimes involves certain suffering. But sometimes it’s worth it to go building as a couple. If you see that it is not possible, it will always be better not to uselessly prolong a situation that only brings us sadness. Remember: love is always worth it and you deserve to be loved.