Spoiling a child can make him a spoiled child , who does not respect the rules, who does what he wants and who does not assume his own responsibilities. All this can have serious consequences in your adult life.
For this reason, today we are going to talk about some behaviors characteristic of a spoiled child, which will help us to know if we have to take some measures with our children in such a way that it does not happen anymore.
We invite you to read: How to educate difficult children
Behaviors of a spoiled child
The circle of tantrums
Tantrums are a resource to which any spoiled child goes , knowing that in most cases it has everything to win. More than anything because they play with that shame that make the adult feel and, also, the guilt.
Let’s give an example:
A child is in the supermarket with his father and wants him to buy him a chocolate. The father says “no”. The boy insists and as he sees that he will not get what he wants, he throws himself to the ground and starts screaming and kicking.
The father scolds him, he notices the looks of the other people in the supermarket and he begins to feel guilty. His face turns red with embarrassment and, as he can no longer do it, he says to the child: “Yes, take your chocolate, but do not make a fuss again”.
What has happened here? The boy has managed to manipulate his father by making him feel guilty and ashamed. At the same time, the father has lost his authority because he has yielded to the son’s attitude . This can also trigger in another attitude.
As the father knows that when the child receives what he wants, he behaves; he may play bribes in some circumstances where he wants the child to behave well or to fulfill his responsibilities (pass an exam).
The lack of limits in the home
The fact that there are limits in the home does not mean that parents are hard , that they will emotionally harm their children or that they will not love them. Quite the opposite. The limits are very necessary.
But, in order for them to take effect, we have to carry them through to the final consequences . It is not worth putting a limit and allowing it to be surpassed before a circumstance like the one mentioned above.
Parents have to be firm in the decisions they make . If in a moment they falter, everything is ruined. For that reason, if we put a limit like, for example, “today you do not buy chocolate,” is that today you do not buy it, period. Whatever happens, no matter the crying, the tantrums and even the shame we can feel.
A spoiled child has to know that adults are serious . He has to learn to accept a “no” answer, that he will not have another to accept.
In addition, when there are limits from the beginning, disobeying or even showing hostility towards the parents is something that does not usually occur . Therefore, we have to impose limits as soon as possible.
A spoiled child is not born, it is
A spoiled child is not born being like that . It is the behavior of the parents, the permissiveness of selfishness that presents and how challenging it is with their own parents which causes the child to act increasingly worse.
He will end up insulting his parents, controlling them and exercising a power that he should not have. But, above all, you will end up not knowing how to value what you have, wanting more and more to satisfy your needs and desires, but without knowing how to truly appreciate them.
A spoiled child can become a very unpleasant adult person, harmful to others and, above all, to themselves . Children need limits, parents act as parents not as friends and never allow for lack of respect or manipulation.
Before leaving do not miss: Positive or negative reinforcement for children?
Everything we do to prevent children from becoming spoiled children will help them to be better people in the future and to know how to maintain healthier relationships. Let us always keep this in mind.
Images: Nicoletta Ceccoli.