Starting from scratch in a relationship is something that we sometimes want to do . Either because we ask the other person or because both members of the relationship have reached that agreement.
However, we are not aware of the risks that this entails .
When we decide to start from scratch we do it with great enthusiasm ; However, everything we have experienced with that person and that has led us to wish to “restart” the relationship will not disappear.
Starting from scratch will not make you forget
We may want to start from scratch with our partner because we have been unfaithful , for example , and we promise that we will never do the same again.
However, this request can be a way of self-deception.
Do we really know that we will not make the same mistake again? Are we so afraid of breaking that we lie to our partner and ourselves?
We have to keep in mind that, in reality, we can never start from scratch . Because this will not make the other person forget what happened.
What usually happens in most cases is that the other person agrees. However, over time it is cold and distant. This is because he can not trust us again.
Therefore, we have to be fully aware of the risks involved in wanting to start from scratch in a relationship. Because, in reality, there is no “start from scratch” as such.
We can not do a clean slate and a new account . We are not those two strangers who did not know anything about each other.
We have gone through certain experiences that will continue there and that we can not forget. This can lead to resentment, the relationship does not go ahead and, instead of going forward, we are distancing each day more.
Are you willing to forgive?
Taking into account the above, if we really want to start from scratch, understanding this as giving another opportunity to our relationship as a couple purifying all the past, we must be very sure of the step we are going to take .
As we have said, it is possible for a person to agree to start a relationship from scratch, but that does not really leave behind all resentment, distrust and bad taste that may have left that bad experience.
Forgiving the other person can be very difficult if this has been unfaithful , mistreated or made any action in which you have completely lost our confidence.
For that reason, it is important that we cleanse all those emotions, that we leave them behind so as not to throw them in the face or affect the new opportunity that we are giving ourselves.
Do not force anything. In case we find it impossible to do this, we have to be honest and to that start from scratch.
In this way we will avoid damaging ourselves, the other person and making the relationship very destructive to both of us.
The illusion that is coming down
If we can be aware of all the above, be honest with ourselves and say “no, I can not start from scratch because you have hurt me and I can not continue as if nothing” then we will drop the blindfold.
Many couples who want to start from scratch do so based on illusion , hope and unrealistic expectations.
They do not take into account that they still feel pain, that they need time to heal and that, as a result of the negative experiences experienced, the relationship is completely broken.
However, it is hard for us to assume that our love relationship has failed . So we try to the impossible, knowing in our interior what the true result will be.
It is not necessary to do so much damage. It is true that there will be people who can start from scratch because they can truly forgive. However, this is not something simple and that everyone can do.
Can we really resist not to blame the other for everything done? Shall we avoid doing the same for revenge? Let’s answer all this with true honesty and without judging ourselves for it.