One of the moments that can alter the coexistence of your family is when your children adopt a challenging attitude. In other words, they stop obeying you and feel that they can go above and beyond what you think . What should I do when my child defies my limits?
Although the moment is a bit stressful, you must avoid despair in order to cope. It is simply about acting with determination and calmness to make them understand, in a good way, that the established limits must be respected.
On the other hand, you should consider whether your answers are normal for the stage you are in, since many of these behaviors are part of the child’s development . In fact, most parents must confront them between two and six years of age and in adolescence.
Understanding that you do not always know what to do to correct this situation, below we want to share some recommendations. But first, let’s review in detail why you should act with patience and in a positive way .
Why should I act calmly when my child defies my limits?
It is inevitable that at some point you will face challenging situations with your child. You are likely to hear phrases like “I do not want to do it” , “I do what I want” or ” I do not want to bathe” in a challenging tone that is very annoying.
The “no” response and disobedience is exhausting your patience, and sometimes you find no other solution than a threat or a strong scolding. However, it is important to learn to manage calm, because there is no better way to control such behavior.
Sometimes adults are the ones who misinterpret children’s ways of acting . What looks like a challenge or challenge may be normal behavior of your age. For example, if a two-year-old child does not follow an order, he is not challenging his parents .
At that age he does not have enough maturity to control his behavior, nor to understand what a rule is. Therefore, it is not a time to establish punishments or be too strict . The right thing to do is to stay calm and be a guide so you can understand it as it grows.
Tantrums and tantrums will reappear many times throughout childhood and during adolescence. The essential thing is to keep in mind that they tend to enclose a meaning. While they can be a sign of autonomy and self-affirmation, it can also be the way to get attention.
In childhood and adolescence there are determining moments of change that are reflected through these behaviors. However, you should not lower your guard, because what seems normal can also become a difficult problem to control.
You have to worry when the challenging behavior is aggressive and persistent , or when it begins to have a significant impact on family and school life. If these interfere with the normal development of the child’s activities, it is best to seek psychological help.
What can I do if my child defies my limits?
At this point it is good to clarify that it is not about letting children do what they want. Although calm will be your best ally, you must also know what you must implement to keep this type of situation under control .
Surely you are wondering what to do if my son defies my limits. Well, although the problem may be different in each case, there are some basic tips that can help you not to reach an extreme that affects the family.
Set rules and logical limits
Being consistent with the limits you set allows you to defend them firmly and without feeling guilty . This does not mean that you have to shout or be aggressive , it’s about maintaining the norm no matter what happens.
Manage achievements and triumphs
You should not focus your attention on everything the child does wrong. Keep in mind that if you recognize his positive actions and good behavior, he will begin to recognize these behaviors as the most appropriate.
Determine the consequences
Failure to comply with any rule brings a consequence. For this reason, you must determine what will be the punishments or reactions to disobedience . Try to avoid “second chances” , because this shows weakness in your decisions.
Reinforce alternative behaviors
What you can do instead of giving another chance is to say yes to the alternatives. In fact, this is very healthy for children. When you give other cooperation alternatives, you encourage compliance with the rules without reaching punishment.
Avoid falling into the attitude of challenge
The lack of patience and the anger of the moment can make you fall into an attitude as challenging as that of the child. Watch out! This can make things difficult. It is essential that you remain calm and acquire mental strength to face it .
Try to maintain a firm and positive attitude when you feel that your child is challenging the limits you set. Learn to recognize when they use this medium to attract attention and try to get to the bottom of the situation by keeping calm and encouraging respect.
This way you know if my son defies my limits and how to put a brake on it.