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Remember: you did not lose anyone, the others lost you

We are sure that, at some point in your life cycle, you lost someone that was very significant to you : a love, a friendship, the bond with a certain family member …

We talk about emotional, not physical, losses; , además de muchas preguntas. we refer to those ruptures that are uprooted almost without knowing how and that leave us wounded , in addition to many questions.

The most complex of the end of a relationship, be it of any kind, is that it is not easy to confront it in a way that is positive , that is, that favors our personal growth.

It is common that, before a break, our self-esteem comes down.

Many people are responsible for an end, thus initiating a cycle of thoughts and self-destructive attributions that have as a thread the “I could have done it in another way”, “I do not deserve to be loved”, “I was not good enough for that person”…

We must have it clear: to overcome grief due to an affective loss implies controlling the type of thoughts that our mind emits .

There is no worse enemy than oneself, and when it comes to emotional losses, we sometimes act like true executioners.

It is not appropriate: we suggest you apply appropriate emotional management strategies.

What you lost, what was left behind and what pushes you forward

People are more fragile than we think.

In our day to day we manage to maintain an apparent control capacity that helps us to think that we can with everything, that nothing can harm us.

We believe in certain times of our lives because we have strong links with people we love.

Good friendships, good family ties and a satisfying and happy relationship gives us wings, strengths and optimism.

Now, sometimes, it is enough that a single link of this perfect chain is released so that this balance falls apart.

Instantly, we are so overwhelmed by the negative emotions that it is common to remain blocked, not knowing what to do, what to think and how to react.

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Our existential foundations seem to have collapsed and our mind only makes an impact again and again on the loss , on that person who has left us without understanding the reason very well.

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Remember: you did not lose anyone, the others lost you

In the first place, it is necessary to understand that all negative emotion, that is, anger, despair, sadness and fear have a very specific end in our brain: they force us to see reality in order to emit an answer according to a ” danger”.

  • Negative emotions are instinctive and they alert us to something: we have to react.
  • If we are clear that they no longer want us, nothing can be more destructive than continuing to implore a new opportunity.
  • A final hurts, it is necessary to feel the sadness, mourn it and spend some time with our own thoughts .
  • Later, we will give way to a worthy acceptance of what happened and we will start walking again .

Focus the mind in the past and in those conditional phrases of “if I did this maybe,” “if I told you it is possible that …” do nothing but chronify your own despair.

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It’s the others that have lost you

You have not lost anyone, the others have lost you. Focusing things in this way is not an act of selfishness, but emotional strength .

  • If someone did not fit in your dreams, if you did not understand the greatness of your values, if it did not harmonize in your wise love, in your love and your good work, who has truly lost is that person, not you.
  • Do not blame yourself for that loss . Do not humiliate yourself or mistreat yourself emotionally; Do not think you should change to fit another person’s plans.
  • Never lose your identity or your greatness. If someone did not like you, it’s their problem; If a person did not understand them, there is no reason to torture them.

Feed your own love, take care of your self-esteem and do not fire the virtues that have cost you so much to achieve just because someone was short-sighted when you saw them, just because a person left you because you did not fit the size of their heart .

Do not miss yourself just because you’ve lost someone

Remember: you did not lose anyone, the others lost you

It is not worth losing yourself. It is not healthy to stop loving yourself just because someone has chosen to put distance when we crave for closeness.

  • If you choose to neglect yourself, if you choose to put distance from your own heart, you will be a sad captive who one day said no, from whom he closed the door of your house to sow sadness in your mind.
  • Close that stage, end that circle of suffering and go find yourself again with yourself.
  • Do not look for a love as an analgesic with which to satisfy sorrows and find forgetfulness.

The most appropriate in these cases is to spend time with which to heal ourselves and remember, once again, what our joys, our illusions and our values ​​were.

What you lost no longer exists, it has been left behind, but what is to come brings happiness and new hopes.

It is within your reach if you want it.

Images courtesy of Stasia Burrington

Remember: you did not lose anyone, the others lost you