Many people think that it is better to educate children differently from girls. We give them different toys and they even get to instill typical values of their gender. But we are probably making a mistake, we explain why.
The consequences of educating according to gender
Today is an idea that continues to be deeply ingrained in families. Girls are expected to be docile and obedient, to acquire appropriate roles to what they are supposed to expect tomorrow, to take care of the house and a family . Meanwhile, children are allowed a certain rudeness in their acts, they are accustomed to playing with warlike or typically masculine objects. All according to a traditional thought that has spread, as if it were part of our genetics, through generations and generations. Docility and authority would be the biggest mistakes we can make when educating children. It’s a risk.
On the one hand, it is still true that there are many schools that only admit children or girls or that admit both sexes but they do not share a classroom or recess time. Behind this educational behavior lives the idea that by enhancing the particular attitudes of each sex, the educational quality will increase . It also avoids the “possible” distractions that can cause the educational coexistence of the two sexes, especially from adolescence.
On the other hand, different studies have shown that there is no significant difference in educational quality if we compare the results obtained by boys and girls who go to school together and who do not. Children in general have many differences within their own group (inter-) and we can not say that it is more beneficial to study primary or secondary school without living with the other sex.
Leaving aside these results for a while, let’s talk better about that more intimate education, from which families exercise at home and where it would be necessary to highlight a series of values. A series of concepts to educate in happiness, to educate in equality.
Educate in equality to achieve happiness
1. Same rules, same values
Our purpose as parents is not to educate happy “children” or “girls”, but to educate happy “people” . If you have several children, you will surely have noticed that everyone has needs, that they do not all have the same personality or behave in the same way. That is, we are not going to educate them differently because we are girls. We want everyone to have a good self-esteem , to have a good self-concept and to be assertive. Let them know how to defend themselves in the world, be happy and be able to make others happy. And that is something that men and women will do.
If you establish rules at home, they are for everyone the same. Everyone should make their bed, everyone will pick up the table and everyone should go home at the same time. If one is more rebellious than another then we will put measures. But do not give more concessions to the boys just for being men thinking that they are more independent, or forbidding your daughters to go out just because they are girls. Both must be responsible, autonomous and capable of facing the world. If you put different rules for your children according to their gender, they will protest and end up hating each other for having more or less rights just because of their gender.
2. Cultivate self-esteem and respect in both genders
Try that both your children and your daughters learn to respect each other and respect others. Teach them that no one has the right to physically or emotionally harm other people just because they are male or female. If you cultivate, for example, empathy in your sons, they will be happier tomorrow and make their partners happier. Everyone must learn to build and maintain their self-esteem , valuing themselves so that no one can manipulate them, so that they are happy people proud of themselves. Let them grow in equality in the family, with the same rights and the same duties.
3. Give them freedom of choice, educate in happiness and respect
Let them make their decisions. If you see that your child is more sensitive, do not give him an upset or make a face that is “unmanly”, allow his personality to develop according to his feelings, otherwise we will not get anything other than frustration . Today, the classic values that women should stay at home to take care of their family have been left behind. Today women are independent, occupy large positions in the workplace and further delay motherhood. There are also men who choose to be parents in solitude, or who choose to stay at home while their wife works. We live in a world full of possibilities where you have to respect yourself, where prejudices must be set aside.
The essential thing is that we try to make our children happy and respect the people around them. Equality overcomes selfishness, we must educate people capable of making others happy, who can listen, share and be responsible in this sometimes complex world. Do not hesitate, educating is a wonderful adventure.