Many couples are still together because they believe that this is best for their children . However, are they really right or is it an excuse to perpetuate a dysfunctional relationship ?
The welfare of children depends on the degree of happiness, balance and health that exists in the union that their parents have.
This is the first relationship that children see, it is the one they will learn from and the one that will generate many of the problems that will affect them in their adult life.
Emotional wounds in childhood
A bad relationship between parents can leave wounds in childhood that significantly affect their adult stage. Let’s take an example.
Let’s imagine that there are two parents who have problems in their union. There have been infidelities of by means, mistreatment and believe love, but it is not like that.
However, when the excuse of love falls by its own weight, another arises: that of the children. For the children, one sacrifices oneself so that they can have what everyone else has: a family.
However, what is believed to be the best for the children becomes torture for them . That family is unstable, they have to be angry witnesses and arguments, constant abuse …
They are witnessing a totally damaging couple model that will affect the relationships they will maintain in their adult lives.
They will feel abandoned by their parents who are only focused on themselves. They will believe that love is something bad or that it makes you suffer. Moreover, you may already experience what it is like to have low self-esteem in childhood.
Discover: Keys to foster self-esteem in children
The children may become the ones who comfort their parents, or the latter may speak ill of the other.
Is it really best for the children to stay together? Is this sacrifice worthwhile? Who is really benefiting him?
The best thing for children is for their parents to separate
Undoubtedly, without a doubt. If the parents have problems among themselves and have considered separating, it is necessary that they do so.
How can you survive a relationship without love ? A marked, damaged relationship in which resentment may be present has no future.
As much as we believe that the best thing for children is to continue together, are we willing to be good actors so as not to make them live quarrels , arguments and other things that we can throw at our partner?
The truth is that no. Parents who stay together because they believe it is best for their children are not happy and this can be paid even with them.
Blaming them for everything, giving them an education in which negative reinforcement predominates, making their children accomplices of their pain …
There is nothing negative about a couple separating. Children will always be happier if their parents are happy , if they are well, calm and maintain a healthy relationship between them.
Family “happy” despite everything
Perhaps what we believe is best for the children, in reality, is a way to cover up a deeper need.
The one of showing to the others, to the society, that the family follows united, when, in fact, everything collapses when crossing the threshold of the door.
We have a huge need to keep up appearances and to comply with certain beliefs that surround us every day.
“Love supports everything”, “children deserve a family”, “do not put up with anything”, “what will people think?”
Beliefs that provoke toxic relationships whose members make their own children soak up that toxicity.
Before leaving do not miss: How to know if I am living a “toxic relationship” of a couple?
Maintaining a relationship because we believe it is best for the children is a great risk. What example are we giving them? Will we blame our sacrifice in the future?
It is better that their parents are happy and separated, than together and hating each other . This experience will be the model that will leave you wounded and that will influence the relationships that they themselves will have.