There are many reasons why couples argue. However, today we will focus on some that would be important to eradicate in order to resolve them and prevent them from damaging our relationship .
Many times it is discussed because communication between the couple is lacking . Other times it is discussed because, instead of solving the problems, they let themselves pass, they ignore each other.
In any case, it is essential to stop to talk with the couple and resolve the situation that causes the conflict. We do not want a new discussion based on the same thing to emerge.
The big reason: jealousy
One of the reasons why couples argue is jealousy . Either because one of the members of the relationship makes a new friend, adds someone to their social networks , gets along with their ex-partner, stares down the street at someone who looks handsome …
The vast majority of jealousy is unfounded . They have no reason to be. However, in our culture, we have been taught that it is normal to be jealous in a relationship. Why? Because we take care of what we think we have, when in reality it is not like that.
We feel jealous when we believe that we are going to lose what belongs to us. Therefore, any person becomes a potential competitor.
This also speaks a lot about our own self-esteem and security , both in ourselves and in our partner. However, it can be considered a learned behavior.
Jealousy seems to be implicit within a couple relationship.
The healthiest thing would be to check if we have a problem of self-esteem, to verify if our jealousy is right or if it is a product of the learned behaviors that we have seen performed by other couples in our environment (parents, grandparents, brothers, uncles …).
Once this is done, we must talk to our partner to reassure us, give us the security we need and we can, thus, stop feeling jealousy unnecessarily.
Another reason why couples argue is the family. When we start a relationship with someone, we choose that person, but not the family that they have .
In many occasions, the differences that originate with the family of our partner have to do with different beliefs we have. For example, the best known, that with the mother-in-law you always get along.
This may not be so. In fact, generalizing this can predispose us to adopt a defensive and little open attitude to establish a good relationship with the mother of our partner.
However, there are certain family differences that need to be resolved by talking about it between the two . For example, if one of your parents comes to our house and starts wanting to reorganize everything, tell us what color we have to buy the carpets, etc.
Other examples may be when the parents are very attached to their child and call for everything or appear at home without notice, or when they do not accept the relationship and become hostile and throw hints .
Doing the same thing as them is not a good attitude. We have to communicate with our partners, tell them what bothers us, see if our partner also bothers or accepts them and thus be able to resolve the conflict in the best way.
Problems with personal space
This has a lot to do with the beliefs we place on relationships that not only end up causing conflicts with regard to jealousy, but also with personal space.
One of the reasons why couples argue is because of that need that over the years remains to do everything together . It is normal that in the phase of falling in love we want to be with our partner. However, everyone has their friends, their hobbies …
Having a partner does not mean losing our individuality and becoming one.
If I like to take walks in solitude, to have a partner I do not have to change this. However, you may hear “you do not want to do things with me”, “you do not want to include me in your activities”.
Actually, the members of a relationship need their space. The problem is that when things are done separately, it is possible that the jealousy that we talked about at the beginning and that is so harmful to the relationship arises.
- Having a partner does not mean to stop doing what we like or to share friends from now or to do the same hobbies.
- We are two different people who have a relationship , not two people who become one.
Before leaving, do not miss: The importance of personal space in the couple
Sometimes, this need for personal space is given from the first moment in the relationship. Other times, it comes up after a while. The important thing is to know how to respect the space of the other , because we all need it, although sometimes we believe that we do not.
Which of these reasons why couples argue more closely with you? Would you like to add one more? Everything commented can be resolved as long as the members of the relationship are willing and open to solve the origin of their discussions.