When we immerse ourselves in the action of looking for a partner, we leave aside the most important thing to focus on, only in the superficial.
Thus, we choose those people who fit our prototype : brunettes or blondes, high or low, mature or immature, sympathetic or serious …
However, this type of choice causes many problems. In the long term we realize that we do not connect deeply with our partner , that something is going wrong and that the relationship is going to collapse.
Looking for a partner is a conscious decision
Looking for a partner has to be a conscious decision , mature and in which we know well what we would like to find.
It is clear that there will be no perfect person who has all the elements we want in someone.
However, it is possible to be sure that the couple we choose is the most appropriate for us if we look at certain aspects that will be essential to know, for sure, whether the relationship will have a future or not.
The fears that you have
Everyone has some kind of fear, but some of them can interfere in a negative way in the relationship that is being forged.
For example, if the person we have chosen is afraid of being alone, we will be in a dependency relationship.
In it we will be overwhelmed by certain attitudes that our partner will show to feel safe and without fear of being abandoned.
Discover: The fear of emotional emptiness
- Likewise, if you have an intense fear that we are unfaithful because you have gone through similar previous experiences, we will have to think about it very well.
- Perhaps, there is a lack of confidence that translates into constant questions: “where have you been and with whom?” And control over the mobile and social networks.
Your personality type
They say that the opposite poles attract each other. However, the truth is that it is necessary that our personality is similar to that of our partner .
For example, if one of the two people is very orderly and the other very disordered, this could trigger a conflict.
We can never and this we have to be very clear about.
If at first you do not mind the differences between you, make sure that in the future this will continue like this.
With time and the wear and tear of the relationship begin to bother us things that we did not repair before. So, let’s not get carried away by the blindness of the infatuation phase.
If looking for a partner is something that is in our mind, let’s be aware of all this.
What do we mean by this? A there are people who have trouble talking about certain issues and others not so much.
Keep in mind: 7 elements that every couple needs besides love
Communication is essential in every couple and, if it fails from the beginning, everything will be lost.
Meaningless discussions and various problems can arise from a lack of understanding derived from a lack of communication between partners.
That is why it is important to determine how the other person’s communication style. Do you listen me? Do you honestly talk about what happens to you? Do you usually lie?
What catches me about her?
When we are in that moment of looking for a partner, the idealization will blind us to let ourselves go and not think about everything mentioned until now.
However, it is important to make an effort and be realistic.
Because when the time passes, the magic goes away and we both have to push the relationship because she does not do it on her own, what will urge us to continue together?
There has to be something. Either the sense of humor or an aspect of the personality of the other person that catches us. Something special and unique.
If this is not the case, we may meet someone who does not stimulate us. It will be then when the void makes an appearance.
Before leaving, we recommend: Is it possible to find the ideal partner?
Finding a partner is not always a goal . Sometimes, we prefer to let ourselves go and wait for the person with whom we would like to share our life to appear.
However, if you are in that active search, keep in mind the previous points to avoid unpleasant surprises in the future.