“Why does my baby just sleep next to me?” Asks a new mother, tearful and tired after several nights of bad sleep. The answer is simple: because it is natural, babies only fall asleep if they are close to the mother .
After spending nine months embraced and supported inside our body, they fell asleep and woke up listening to the heart of their mother beating very close, we would have to wonder how can we believe that it will be different after birth?
It is normal, or should be
Babies need and seek physical contact, to feel calm and protected, just as they were in the womb. They need it while they are awake, to fall asleep and while they sleep and when they wake up again.
This was the case during the nine months of pregnancy and will remain so for a while longer. First, because he has to live the nine months of exterogestación ; and second, because their sleep patterns will not be regular until they reach 5 or 6 years.
However, some consider that since they are born they should sleep in their own crib, in their own four. Others will accept that he is 4 to 5 months in his crib in his parents’ room, but no more, that he must then be moved to his room.
As if a baby understood about those time lapses, or that their parents need to sleep because they are going to work, or need privacy. Babies do not know about any of that, they only sleep if they are close to the mother, because it is the only thing they know .
Co-sleeping is an option
The dream of the babies is one of the most frequent anguishes among those that debut as mom. While they are looking for “magic recipes” to get him to sleep longer, or when he wakes up to fall asleep himself, they do not see the easiest solution: co-sleeping .
For generations children slept with their parents, and parents with grandparents. Sometimes they slept sharing the same room, most of the time the same bed. The cohabitation is still practiced by many parents, without the choice of social class , cultural customs or the country of origin.
Between 1980 and 1990, the theories of Ferber and Lozoff appeared to interrupt the placid sleep of babies with their mother. A lot of doctors, psychiatrists and specialists supported the tendency to leave the baby sleeping alone, but forgot that human babies are mammals.
Like every being that is fed by the breasts of its mother, the babies only fall asleep if they are close to the mother; while breastfeeding and cradling him, they listen to his mother’s heart, smell his skin and fall asleep .
Sleeping near the mother
The most famous manuals for sleeping babies dare to affirm that the fetuses sleep alone in the uterus without help from anyone! They attribute the sleep problems of babies to their parents, that when cradling or rocking babies, they “unlearn” what they already did from “natural form”.
Does it sound logical to you? Do you really believe that the baby is only in the womb? Do you realize that babies in the womb are always cradled, rocked and hearing their mother’s heart?
Pregnant women walk, go up and down stairs, drive a car, dance, have sex and do exercises. Even in pregnancies with indications of total rest, the baby hears and feels his mother.
All that movement, all those sounds, accompany the babies while they sleep in the womb , which does not look at all like sleeping alone in a static crib in a silent room.
In case there are doubts
There are some babies, they are all those who fall asleep if they are close to the mother, because it is natural . But we insist on leaving them alone in a cradle. They cry and sleep badly, parents too, when it’s so easy to leave them close to mom.
Although many of our parents or grandparents slept with us, instead of doing the same, we are engaged in searching for new scientific research that reconfirms us that babies can return to sleep near mom and dad. Instead of trusting what our heart and our child ask of us .